Get Your Hands Out My Cookie Jar!

Isis’s found herself standing in front of her bathroom mirror, gripping onto the edge of the counter for dear life; to say she was in heat was an understatement.  She’d just gotten out of the shower in hopes of calming the sizzling uproar her hormones had caused.  To no surprise she was still a bit heated, although the shower did ease the intensity for her.  Taking in a deep breath then exhaling slowly Isis was determined to remain celibate if it killed her and from the looks of things she would surely die.  She couldn’t believe she even made it to the three month mark without giving in.  Everyone was cheering for her to fail, especially her friends who for some reason wanted her to stay wild and crazy.  Men of her past felt the need to remind her of all the things she liked instead of encouraging her desire to live better.  Her family believes “once a whore, always a whore” so they definitely wasn’t taking her celibacy seriously.  They went as far as accusing her of having a STD that she didn’t want to spread and that being her only reason for not having sex.  When the truth was actually that Isis had grown tired of the fast life.  Yeah, she enjoyed having sex but she always felt so empty after the fact.  In the beginning, it was fun making men plea and beg for her attention but now it was totally played out.  A dog had a better reputation than she did.  Isis had broken up countless marriages, her family didn’t trust her around their men, and none of her friends were really her friends.  Seriously, what real friends would allow you to pass yourself around like a baton in a race?  Or maybe that’s to be expected when they did the same things.  Isis would drink and get down in a heartbeat and she was good at it.  It wasn’t like there were not guys out there who wanted her; a few were actually good guys but she never desired a serious relationship.  She always wanted freedom to do whatever or whoever she wanted but lately it had become unbearable.  Isis had had so many abortions the doctor refused to perform anymore informing her that her body could not handle it and she may want to consider a lifestyle change.  Little did he know, that’s all she had been thinking about.

Month after month, she would promise herself she wouldn’t give in but she always did.  She hated how many sexual partners she had.  She hated the reputation she had earned around the neighborhood.  She hated how empty she had become because of her actions.  Isis broke down and cried on her bathroom floor like a baby.  She was so broken as she lied on the floor attempting to scream away her frustrations through tears.  She had no one she could call and open up to, no one!  Out of all the men she had given her body to she could not rely on one to help her in her time of despair.

Suddenly, she received a notification on her cell phone.  Isis considered ignoring it but her curiosity got the best of her due to it being 2am and everyone in her circle was out partying or up to no good.  Dragging her heavy body off the floor, she grabbed her cell phone from the counter and read her text message.

 “Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”

Strangely, there was no number only a text.  “How in the world can I have a text message without a number” Isis thought.  She rushed out of the bathroom into her kitchen, feverishly searching through her junk drawer for a small green bible she was given months ago from someone walking around Walmart parking lot.  Upon finding it, she looked for Psalm 147:3 and discovered it was accurate.  Becoming agitated Isis wanted to know who was playing on her phone.  She text back, “Who is this?” expecting it not to go through but it did.  Five minutes passed and she hadn’t received a response so she placed her phone down and grabbed a wine glass believing she had lost her mind.  As soon as she placed her hand on the wine bottle she received another text.  Frozen in place, she contemplated if she should read it.  Moving away from the wine bottle she grabbed her phone to read the message.

Psalm 91:4

Flipping through the small bible Isis read out loud, “He shall cover thee with his feathers and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”  Tears streamed from her eyes as she fell to her knees repenting the way her mother taught her when she was a little girl.  The next day Isis called Verizon about the text messages but there was no record of her receiving anything around that time; Isis was speechless.  She made her mind up to get to know the God in the book her mother use to read faithfully before she passed away fourteen years ago.  It would be a hard road but she knew she had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  That day was her new beginning and for the first time in a long time she had genuine joy in her heart.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

~Earlene J.

Goodbye Parris

walking-away

Looking into Parris eyes, I know what I’m about to say is going to break her heart.  It feels like a frog is stuck in my throat as I try to squeeze the words out.  Parris and I have been seeing each other for a year now but I cannot continue on with this relationship.  Here I am, a so-called Christian yet, I’m carrying on as if I’ve never step foot in the church and heard the gospel.  I have deep feelings for Parris but I know what we’re doing isn’t right.  The sad part is that I love every minute of it and she’s fully aware of that.  I’ve found myself in this exact situation several times where I’ve attempted to stop this charade but was unsuccessful.  It’s hard to put an end to something you enjoy.  It’s hard to hate what you love and I find myself bouncing between the two.  One minute, I hate the wrong that I’ve done and the next minute I want more of it.  Parris is my drug, she’s my addiction…an addiction that can send me straight to hell if I don’t get a hold of myself.

 We met at a church picnic where she slipped me her number.  I knew at that very second I was going to call but I tried to convince myself I wouldn’t.  Nothing but sexual desires came over me when I looked into Parris eyes so I knew I was headed in the wrong direction yet, I couldn’t stop; I didn’t want to stop.  I knew what I was doing and I wanted to do it.  A week passed by before I made the call.  We hung out and did exactly what we both wanted to do from day one and I had no regrets.  I tried to force myself to feel bad but failed miserably.  Now, a year later and I can’t do this anymore.  It’s draining me, causing much stress and unhappiness.  My parents found out what I’ve been doing and were livid.  I can’t say I blame them and it doesn’t help that I’m 17 and Parris is 20 years old.

 Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself to release Parris and my lustful desires for her.

“Parris the reason I asked you to meet me is because I have something to share with you” I said slowly.

“Oh boy, here we go again.  I guess you’re dumping me for the fifteenth time” she said with a sly grin.

“Yeah Parris, as a matter of fact I am.  You know I was not raised like this and what we are doing is wrong.  My parents found out and are extremely hurt by my actions” I informed her.

Rolling her eyes, she replied “Cody you can’t live your life for your parents.  You should do what makes you happy and I do make you happy right?

I should have never picked the lake as a place to meet up but it’s our spot when we want to be alone.  Plus, I figured if Parris became loud and belligerent no one would see it.  However, it’s not looking like such a good idea as she trace her finger down the side of my neck.

Snatching her hand down I replied, “Parris it’s over, I’m done.  Don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t inbox me, just stay away from me.”

 Picking up on my seriousness, Parris bucked her eyes.  “Cody this is ridiculous!  Will you stop it?  In a few months all of this will be put to rest and we can eventually move somewhere else together where no one knows us.  Hey, you can even do your church thing too” she stated with no remorse.

This is what I hated about Parris, we were always on different pages except when it came to sex.  Here I am trying to turn to God sincerely and she’s being her typical self, a heathen, but who am I to talk?

“Parris you’re not understanding me.  I…Am…Done!” I stated sternly.

“Cody please don’t do this!  I can change, I’m going to change.  I only have three more months until the big day” Parris said.

“Parris!  Getting a sex change does not make you a woman in my eyes!  Don’t you get that?  What we are doing is wrong and God is not happy with us” I yelled out of frustration.

“You can say whatever you want, when I get my sex change operation I will officially be a woman!  You’ve been calling me your girl but now all of a sudden “you’re so holy” and want to say I’m a man” Parris replied angrily.

“You are a man!  What the heck are you talking about?!  Just because you are feminine that does not mean you are a woman.  You stand to pee just like I do” I said.

“It never bothered you before!  You know what, I don’t know why I’m arguing with you.  It’s not like you are going anywhere, nothing will change.  You’re going to go to church on Sunday, cry and boohoo, talking about how bad you feel and by Tuesday we’ll be laid up together.  So, go ahead sweetie, do you” Parris said with much attitude.

“That’s where you’re wrong.  I won’t be doing any of that because I’m done” I said before walking off to get in my car.

 Parris was so angry she…well, he started throwing rocks at my little two door Honda and cursing like a complete psycho.  My tires screetched loudly as I left him in the dust.

Tears streamed down my face as I felt the release of closing that door in my life but why does something inside of me desire to keep it open?  I had disappointed my entire family, as well as myself.  I have no clue as to how I developed these lustful desires.  All I know is that I don’t want them any more.  I hate how easily I have sinned against God and how much embarrassment it has caused me.  Yet, a part of me still wants to go back but I can’t, I refuse.  God I ask that you help me be the man you called me to be.  Forgive me for my sins and help me not fall into temptation.  Deliver me, cleanse me, purify me father.

 Cody decided that day that he would no longer live a homosexual lifestyle and pursued God with everything in him.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

~Earlene J.

Hidden ENVY! Part II

~To forgive or not to forgive, that is the question~

Waking up in a cold sweat, Angela glanced over at her clock to see it was once again around the three o’clock hour.  Every since Janice set her up a month ago dreams about her and Buck being killed would interrupt her rest from time to time.  Other times, she would dream about what happened that night over and over again.  Life would probably be simpler had Janice and Buck actually died instead of it only being a dream.  Angela couldn’t understand why anyone would want to hurt her so badly. She realized she wasn’t perfect but she couldn’t be so bad where anyone would want to kill her.

The day after the incident Janice called her every day trying to apologize but Angela never answered the phone.  How could she believe anything Janice had to say after that?  Although, her curiosity would allow her to listen to some of her voice mail messages.  Janice claimed that she loved Angela but she just couldn’t stand how perfect she was or appeared to be.  She went on to say how sorry she was for allowing her jealousy to drive her to such a hateful place.  She didn’t want to be jealous of Angela or anyone else but she couldn’t seem to make it stop.  Though Angela was a Christian, she was finding it extremely difficult to drop everything that happened and just forgive Janice.  Yes, she had been forgiven by God for all the wrong she had ever done but how could she find the strength to return the favor and forgive someone else?  Janice called every single day looking for Angela to tell her she accepted her apology but Angela had not made it to that point yet.

One day Janice left a voice mail that stopped Angela in her tracks.  It wasn’t as pestering as the other messages had been but this one was laced with sincerity.  On this particular day, Janice asked Angela to pray for her because she needed it and didn’t know how to do it for herself.  Janice had found herself in a heated situation that was taking a toll on her.  She had spent so much time being devious that she neglected her own children and the state had came in and taken them away from her.  Buck was in jail on drug charges and her family didn’t have much interaction with her because of damages she’d caused in the past due to her jealous ways.  Shortly after that, Angela received the news that Janice had been admitted into the Arts Institution but not the arts of compelling expression as one would assume, yet, the Bradley Cotts Art Mental Institution.  The act of losing her children was too much for her and she suffered a nervous breakdown.

Later that week, Angela decided to drive to Janice’s  parents house to see how they were doing.  Sitting in the den with the two, she was struck by so many memories as she looked around at their many photos.  Janice parents informed Angela on what Janice said happened that night.  It was there that Angela learned why Buck ran away.  He claimed to have seen giants surrounding her with shields and instantly she knew God had placed angels around her to protect her that night.  Her heart was warmed as peace fell upon her, soothing her with confirmation that God is always present and will never forsake her.  That following Sunday, Angela stood at the altar on Janice behalf and asked God to heal Janice, as well as touch her own heart to completely forgive as she had been forgiven.  She laid her burdens at the altar and walked away free with the understanding that if God could spare their lives and show forth mercy, surely she could too.

Matthew 6:14-15  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

~Earlene J.

Deliverance Decree

Pure Glory

Unknownby Apostle Gabriel Cross

I rebuke, break off, and dismantle every self-sabotage, and self loathing spirit in your life. I burn, break, cut loose, and destroy the spirit of “expectancy to fail”.

You are in the Kingdom Of Jehovah which is a never-ending and never-failing kingdom. There is no failure in Jehovah, your deliverer. You are in his Kingdom, therefore, you cannot fail! This is your year to capture your enemies, complete your assignments, finish what you’ve started, get every promise with patience, procure supernaturally amount needed, and win over loss.

Walk in the deliverance of Jehovah Sabaoth!

© Crown of Glory International Ministries. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission, from this blog’s author and/or owner, is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Crown of Glory International Ministries, with specific direction to the…

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Hidden ENVY!

 Angela sits on her plush bed painting her toenails as her worship music fills and sets the atmosphere in her small bedroom.  She sings along reflecting on how good God has been to her throughout the years.  Right when her spirit is really beginning to open up, the phone rings.  Leaning over her nightstand, she picks it up, “Hello” she answered.

“Hi Angela! What have you been up to?” the caller asked.  It was Angela’s high school friend who she hadn’t spent much time with since giving her life to God.

“Oh Janice, how are you?  I’m great! I can’t complain, God is good, you know?” Angela replied.

“Yeah…yeah, He is” Janice responded hesitantly.  It was still a little awkward hearing her childhood friend speak so freely about God.  Janice couldn’t understand how Angela could just snap her fingers and change everything about herself by simply going to church on the regular.  Deep down Janice believed Angela was already perfect and she burned with envy!  Every since they were kids Angela received more attention, better grades, better brands of clothing, more accomplishments, better looking boyfriends and the list goes on and on.  Janice focused so much on Angela’s accomplishments that she failed to notice the sacrifices and work she put in to received those things.  Although they had been very close friends at one point, there were things about Angela that Janice had no clue about.  For she wanted to walk in her shoes but the truth of the matter is that she wouldn’t last one day.  Janice despised every aspect of Angela yet, she kept coming around.  The more time she spent with her, the more jealousy grew in her core.  Now that Angela was living for God, she stopped doing many of the things she once entertained, making her a “goody two-shoes,” which only made Janice more furious.  The closer Angela got to God, the closer satan got to Janice.

Unbeknownst to Angela, Janice wasn’t calling to catch up on old times but to get revenge for the years of inferiority she believed Angela placed upon her.  For weeks Janice and a friend known as Buck had been plotting on kidnapping Angela and breaking her down to nothing, just because.  The rage and envy inside of Janice had driven her to a point of no return.  All she could picture was how she and Buck were going to beat Angela, demolishing that pretty face that held the brightest smile that could radiate light into any room.  Buck went as far as to draw out a blueprint for how they would lure Angela into their trap where he secretly planned to rape her for his own sick and twisted pleasure.

“I was thinking, you and I haven’t spent much time together and I was wondering if you would like to hang out Friday night.  Maybe catch a movie or grab a bite to eat,” Janice stated, hoping Angela would take the bait.

“I don’t know Janice, I may not be up for that” Angela said, not having the desire to spend a lot of time around Janice but not wanting to say it plain.

“It’s just a movie, Christians can watch movies right?  And you can even pick what we’ll see, it’s my treat.  I really miss my friend, come on, one movie” Janice pressed.

Giving in, “Okay, I’ll go but I have to be back by ten o’clock and no later” Angela demanded.

“By nine-thirty you’ll be back in bed” Janice said as a wicked smiled crept across her face.  She then called Buck to inform him that their plan may work after all.

Friday night quickly rolled around and Angela prepared her mind for her outing.  Kneeling on her bedside, she began to say a special prayer for her friend Janice.

“Lord before I make any requests I first humble myself before You and ask You to forgive me for any sins I may have committed on today.  I’m sure You know that Janice and I are planning to hang out this evening and I pray that throughout the night she can see You through me.  Give me the right words to say to encourage her to get to know You for herself.  Help her in any areas that may be troubling her, for there’s a fight for her soul and she doesn’t even know it.  Protect us both throughout the night and I pray for a positive atmosphere wherever we go.  Lord I love You with all my heart! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.”

Angela drove to Janice house where she was convinced it would be better to ride with Janice since it was her treat.  On the ride to the movie theater the two caught up on all the things they had missed.  Their bond actually felt real but the night wasn’t over just yet.

After leaving the movies, the two decided to grab something to eat and reminisce about the good old days.  As they sat across from each other their minds were in two different places.  Janice was a mixture of nerves and excitement as she realized the time was nearing for her plot to come full circle.  She hoped everything would go as smoothly as they had planned.  Angela on the other hand, sat searching for the right words to say to witness to Janice in hopes that she would find interest in getting to know God or at least accepting an invitation to church.

The two chatted and enjoyed their meals and Angela began to feel more relaxed, not knowing the turn of events that were about to take place.  One paid the bill while the other one tipped then, off they were, heading back to Janice’s house.  Janice text Buck to inform him to get in position as Angela sat quietly in the passenger seat.  The closer they arrived to Janice house the more anxious she became as her palms began to sweat and her food threatened to come back up.

“Are you okay? You don’t look so good” Angela asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just a little hot in here” Janice replied.  Arriving to their destination, Janice pulled into her driveway debating if she wanted to back out of her plan or not. “Well, this was a nice outing, maybe we can do it again sometime” Angela stated cheerfully as she prepared to exit the car.  She noticed Janice appeared a bit strange but thought nothing of it.  Brushing it off, she opened her door and a male figure in dark clothing emerged from the bushes immediately rushing towards her.  Fear gripped her heart, freezing her in place and what should have been a scream got lost in her throat somehow, when suddenly, he came to a screeching halt.  Time seem to sit still as all three individuals try to understand what was taking place.  Angela trembled terribly as she recognized the male standing in the dark, less than 2 feet away from her.  She couldn’t see his face but for whatever reason, instantly she knew it was Buck, a guy Janice mentioned a time or two in the past.  She had never met him a day in her life but everything in her told her that he was the stranger staring at her intensely.  She noticed how calm Janice sat, not moved the least bit by some guy jumping out of her bushes and tears began to flow from her eyes out of fear of what was happening and why.  Too afraid to speak she called on the name of Jesus inwardly, asking Him to save her.  All of a sudden, Buck started running back into the bushes as if he was the one in danger.  Angela and Janice sat flabbergasted at the turn of events as tires screeched in the distance.

“What the heck was that about Janice?!” Angela asked in hysteria.  Janice broke down and confessed what she originally planned, leaving Angela in complete disbelief.  Running to her car, Angela drove away never looking back, filled with sorrow and relief, thanking God for keeping her.  She told her family of the horrific event and they comforted her causing a sense of safety to shield her.

Later that night, Janice received a threatening phone call from an enraged Buck.  “Who were those big freaks you had outside of your house tonight?” he asked accusingly.

“What are you talking about?  No one was out there stupid!” Janice replied irritated, not understanding what Buck was talking about.

“Janice stop playing with me.  When I see you, you’ll be sorry!” Buck stated.  “Buck you’re the one who dashed off like a mad man!  We were the only people out there!!” Janice yelled.

“Shut up!  You tried to set me up!  No one was there when I got in position but when you two showed up, three big giants with a shield and a big stick was surrounding your car!  Janice I don’t know what type of game you’re playing but you’ve messed with the wrong one!  You’re a dead woman when I see you!” Buck stated before ending the call.  Janice was clueless, there was no way a giant, let alone three giants could have been surrounding her car and no one saw it.  “Buck is on drugs, that’s for sure” Janice thought out loud.

A week later she was found dead behind a dumpster and two days after her death Buck was shot and killed during a drug invasion.

“Touch not mine anointed!”  The evil that they intended for one of God’s children reversed in a major way.

Psalm 91:1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.

~Earlene J.

#SideLine Crew

SIDELINE

It seems when you are trying to follow your dreams by stepping out on faith there is always that “SideLine” Crew with negative  things to say.  Often times God gives us visions that requires us to alter certain behaviors about ourselves to allow our gifts to flow uninterrupted by our own silly actions.  So, we choose to trust God, it’s definitely a choice, and began to work on the areas that needs improvement: confidence, attitude, anger, dress code, speech, etc.  Suddenly, we look to the left and notice the SideLine Crew mocking us.  Who is the SideLine Crew?  These are the individuals who attempts to speak death to your vision.  These are the people who finds your failure humorous.  These are the people who sees your resilience as disgusting.  These are the same people who dare you to speak life over your current situation and hates to see you thrive after a disappointment.  They come in all shapes and sizes but their agenda is the same.  Unfortunately, we (“we” consist of those who are earnestly trying to do something productive with our lives without trotting disgracefully over others) tend to give the SideLine Crew too much of our time by actually worrying about their opinions.  Anyone who is not willing or incapable of uplifting another individual to do something positive isn’t worth the time we so easily give to them.  We already battle with that little voice in our minds that maybe we’re not good enough therefore, entertaining a group of people standing behind the ropes as we walk the red carpet to destiny should be out of the question.  God already equipped us with the things we needed to do the job once we gave Him a “yes” to His will.  With that being said, every once in a while we need to stop and ask ourselves why do we care what they say.  Truth be told, people are going to have something negative to say regardless of what decisions we make.  We all have a different story, a different journey, a different vision, and a different perspective which allows us to be unique in our own right.  Our journey is not to be understood or accepted by the SideLine Crew!

The SideLine Crew is exactly where they should be, ON THE SIDE!  They’re not doing anything so they don’t want us to do anything or they don’t want us to overshadow their little accomplishments.  How envious the SideLine Crew can be as they secretly wish they had the zeal and courage we do as we tackle one challenge after another.  If you really want to know who’s really for you start making money and focusing more on your future than everyday foolishness…start minding your own business and feeding your spirit with the Word of God along with other informative reads and watch how some people begin to fall by the waist side.  However, don’t be confused, everyone won’t fall without developing bitterness so, just remember to place them behind the rope with the rest of the SideLine Crew.  In this season, we cannot afford to be distracted by any means.  Know what you want and go and get it!  If for any reason you must look over at the SideLine Crew, let it be to flash a smile as a reminder to them that they have no power over where you are going.  No matter what level we’re on there will always be a SideLine Crew present.

The Beginners SideLine Crew attempts to stop us before we can really get started because they recognize what we possess even when we don’t.

The Intermediate SideLine Crew are a mixture of those from the previous level and those who we bump into along the way with their own issues against us.  Either way, one must remember to keep them on the side otherwise, they will be in the way.  They do not want us to make it any further and the envy is even higher on this level.

The Advance SideLine Crew  are the people from the last two levels and whoever else we made an enemy by reaching the top and living out the vision that was once a dream.  This is the level where the SideLine Crew is seriously anticipating the day we fall.  To be an authentic follower of Christ and successful, equals hate…Get ready for it!  Many will hate and wish death on us but it won’t prevail.  When God raise you up, man has no say so and I’m glad about it.

I realize that performing in front of the SideLine Crew can be intimidating to the fearful and the doubter for many reasons but if they keep the faith and continue to trust God, He will prepare a table before them in the PRESENCE of their enemies.  Shout about it now!

 

Psalm 23:5  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

 

 

~Earlene J.

 

The Spirit Of Division

Wow! Absolutely awesome post!

Pure Glory

Unknownby Apostle Gabriel Cross

Recently, I inquired of The Lord, about a certain spirit that manifests as such: One moment I’m committed, the next moment I’m not. One moment I’m on fire for God, the next moment I’m dull. One moment I’ll do it, but never follow through. One moment I love myself, the next moment I loathe myself. I’m with you, the next moment I don’t know if I want to be with you. I can hear God, the next moment I can’t hear God. Up and down, back and forth, and the list goes on perpetually.

I asked The Lord, what is the name of this spirit?  He replied, “The spirit of division,” which is also akin to the spirit of self, second-guessing oneself, doubting oneself, drinking self hatorade, etc.

The word says, “And if a kingdom be divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. And if a…

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