Out of my twenty-five years of living, I can truly say that I do not see many women supporting each other sincerely. There seems to be an underlying competition of one being better than the next. When did we as women lose our self confidence? Why is it so hard to appreciate the next woman achievements without comparing them with our own or someone else who may have a little more? God created us all with a specific purpose that no man can take away meaning regardless of what your neighbor may be doing, it will not strip you of what God has planned for you. For example, when a woman is being blessed by God it is okay to celebrate with her, her success is not going to cut into what God has coming for you. Somewhere down the line our sisterhood has been lost, tossed aside like an unwanted bill. Everything is not a competition and if you find yourself sizing other women up by their level of attraction, please have several seats. That alone shows that you are struggling with low self confidence. Of course, we all are struggling with something but do not allow your struggles to cause you to belittle another individual. It is amazing how we as women can tear each other down and feel some type of gratification afterwards. The word shameful does no justice to describe the act. If you see someone lacking in their confidence, try encouraging and complimenting them out of love rather than pouncing on their weakness to make yourself feel better. If you see a woman going through a storm, take time out of your busy day to uplift her in prayer because we all will need help at some point in life. So often have I witnessed men toy over multiple women only for the women to go after each other excluding the male as if he had no part in the entire matter. Fighting and hating each other over a man, competing in a dead end competition that neither can ever win because they have already lost when they “allowed” the man to disrespect their value. In the meantime, men sit back in the cut with a big grin because he is the only one gaining from the situation or at least that is what he thinks. We are worth so much more than this and it is time out for the pettiness. I pray for unity amongst black women especially. We have to be twice as good at anything we set out to do to receive even a portion of what we deserve and the last thing we need is to be divided. Easier said than done but difficulty does not mean impossible. When we tear each other down we teach our children to do the same and they teach their children to do the same thing so from one generation to the next toxic is being passed down. It has to stop somewhere, why not right here with you and me? Personally, I feel driven when I see another positive black woman working towards her goals and stepping out on faith to do so. Ladies as you are reading this, I hope there is a desire to set a better example of how you treat other women. Don’t be afraid of losing your place by being supportive and respectful to one another, especially the young women who are trying to do something with their lives. Let’s not forget to lead by example to those who stand in need of guidance as well as encouragement to make better decisions for their lives. I am not perfect and I am working on this as we speak and I challenge you to do the same.
“Why can’t women get along? Because we’re afraid, we’re afraid to be vulnerable. We’re afraid to be soft, we’re afraid to be hurt. But most of all, we’re afraid of our power. So we become controlling and aggressive and vicious.” -Iyanla Vanzant