Get Your Hands Out My Cookie Jar!

Isis’s found herself standing in front of her bathroom mirror, gripping onto the edge of the counter for dear life; to say she was in heat was an understatement.  She’d just gotten out of the shower in hopes of calming the sizzling uproar her hormones had caused.  To no surprise she was still a bit heated, although the shower did ease the intensity for her.  Taking in a deep breath then exhaling slowly Isis was determined to remain celibate if it killed her and from the looks of things she would surely die.  She couldn’t believe she even made it to the three month mark without giving in.  Everyone was cheering for her to fail, especially her friends who for some reason wanted her to stay wild and crazy.  Men of her past felt the need to remind her of all the things she liked instead of encouraging her desire to live better.  Her family believes “once a whore, always a whore” so they definitely wasn’t taking her celibacy seriously.  They went as far as accusing her of having a STD that she didn’t want to spread and that being her only reason for not having sex.  When the truth was actually that Isis had grown tired of the fast life.  Yeah, she enjoyed having sex but she always felt so empty after the fact.  In the beginning, it was fun making men plea and beg for her attention but now it was totally played out.  A dog had a better reputation than she did.  Isis had broken up countless marriages, her family didn’t trust her around their men, and none of her friends were really her friends.  Seriously, what real friends would allow you to pass yourself around like a baton in a race?  Or maybe that’s to be expected when they did the same things.  Isis would drink and get down in a heartbeat and she was good at it.  It wasn’t like there were not guys out there who wanted her; a few were actually good guys but she never desired a serious relationship.  She always wanted freedom to do whatever or whoever she wanted but lately it had become unbearable.  Isis had had so many abortions the doctor refused to perform anymore informing her that her body could not handle it and she may want to consider a lifestyle change.  Little did he know, that’s all she had been thinking about.

Month after month, she would promise herself she wouldn’t give in but she always did.  She hated how many sexual partners she had.  She hated the reputation she had earned around the neighborhood.  She hated how empty she had become because of her actions.  Isis broke down and cried on her bathroom floor like a baby.  She was so broken as she lied on the floor attempting to scream away her frustrations through tears.  She had no one she could call and open up to, no one!  Out of all the men she had given her body to she could not rely on one to help her in her time of despair.

Suddenly, she received a notification on her cell phone.  Isis considered ignoring it but her curiosity got the best of her due to it being 2am and everyone in her circle was out partying or up to no good.  Dragging her heavy body off the floor, she grabbed her cell phone from the counter and read her text message.

 “Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds”

Strangely, there was no number only a text.  “How in the world can I have a text message without a number” Isis thought.  She rushed out of the bathroom into her kitchen, feverishly searching through her junk drawer for a small green bible she was given months ago from someone walking around Walmart parking lot.  Upon finding it, she looked for Psalm 147:3 and discovered it was accurate.  Becoming agitated Isis wanted to know who was playing on her phone.  She text back, “Who is this?” expecting it not to go through but it did.  Five minutes passed and she hadn’t received a response so she placed her phone down and grabbed a wine glass believing she had lost her mind.  As soon as she placed her hand on the wine bottle she received another text.  Frozen in place, she contemplated if she should read it.  Moving away from the wine bottle she grabbed her phone to read the message.

Psalm 91:4

Flipping through the small bible Isis read out loud, “He shall cover thee with his feathers and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.”  Tears streamed from her eyes as she fell to her knees repenting the way her mother taught her when she was a little girl.  The next day Isis called Verizon about the text messages but there was no record of her receiving anything around that time; Isis was speechless.  She made her mind up to get to know the God in the book her mother use to read faithfully before she passed away fourteen years ago.  It would be a hard road but she knew she had nothing to lose and everything to gain.  That day was her new beginning and for the first time in a long time she had genuine joy in her heart.

1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

~Earlene J.

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Hidden ENVY! Part II

~To forgive or not to forgive, that is the question~

Waking up in a cold sweat, Angela glanced over at her clock to see it was once again around the three o’clock hour.  Every since Janice set her up a month ago dreams about her and Buck being killed would interrupt her rest from time to time.  Other times, she would dream about what happened that night over and over again.  Life would probably be simpler had Janice and Buck actually died instead of it only being a dream.  Angela couldn’t understand why anyone would want to hurt her so badly. She realized she wasn’t perfect but she couldn’t be so bad where anyone would want to kill her.

The day after the incident Janice called her every day trying to apologize but Angela never answered the phone.  How could she believe anything Janice had to say after that?  Although, her curiosity would allow her to listen to some of her voice mail messages.  Janice claimed that she loved Angela but she just couldn’t stand how perfect she was or appeared to be.  She went on to say how sorry she was for allowing her jealousy to drive her to such a hateful place.  She didn’t want to be jealous of Angela or anyone else but she couldn’t seem to make it stop.  Though Angela was a Christian, she was finding it extremely difficult to drop everything that happened and just forgive Janice.  Yes, she had been forgiven by God for all the wrong she had ever done but how could she find the strength to return the favor and forgive someone else?  Janice called every single day looking for Angela to tell her she accepted her apology but Angela had not made it to that point yet.

One day Janice left a voice mail that stopped Angela in her tracks.  It wasn’t as pestering as the other messages had been but this one was laced with sincerity.  On this particular day, Janice asked Angela to pray for her because she needed it and didn’t know how to do it for herself.  Janice had found herself in a heated situation that was taking a toll on her.  She had spent so much time being devious that she neglected her own children and the state had came in and taken them away from her.  Buck was in jail on drug charges and her family didn’t have much interaction with her because of damages she’d caused in the past due to her jealous ways.  Shortly after that, Angela received the news that Janice had been admitted into the Arts Institution but not the arts of compelling expression as one would assume, yet, the Bradley Cotts Art Mental Institution.  The act of losing her children was too much for her and she suffered a nervous breakdown.

Later that week, Angela decided to drive to Janice’s  parents house to see how they were doing.  Sitting in the den with the two, she was struck by so many memories as she looked around at their many photos.  Janice parents informed Angela on what Janice said happened that night.  It was there that Angela learned why Buck ran away.  He claimed to have seen giants surrounding her with shields and instantly she knew God had placed angels around her to protect her that night.  Her heart was warmed as peace fell upon her, soothing her with confirmation that God is always present and will never forsake her.  That following Sunday, Angela stood at the altar on Janice behalf and asked God to heal Janice, as well as touch her own heart to completely forgive as she had been forgiven.  She laid her burdens at the altar and walked away free with the understanding that if God could spare their lives and show forth mercy, surely she could too.

Matthew 6:14-15  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

~Earlene J.