Hidden ENVY! Part II

~To forgive or not to forgive, that is the question~

Waking up in a cold sweat, Angela glanced over at her clock to see it was once again around the three o’clock hour.  Every since Janice set her up a month ago dreams about her and Buck being killed would interrupt her rest from time to time.  Other times, she would dream about what happened that night over and over again.  Life would probably be simpler had Janice and Buck actually died instead of it only being a dream.  Angela couldn’t understand why anyone would want to hurt her so badly. She realized she wasn’t perfect but she couldn’t be so bad where anyone would want to kill her.

The day after the incident Janice called her every day trying to apologize but Angela never answered the phone.  How could she believe anything Janice had to say after that?  Although, her curiosity would allow her to listen to some of her voice mail messages.  Janice claimed that she loved Angela but she just couldn’t stand how perfect she was or appeared to be.  She went on to say how sorry she was for allowing her jealousy to drive her to such a hateful place.  She didn’t want to be jealous of Angela or anyone else but she couldn’t seem to make it stop.  Though Angela was a Christian, she was finding it extremely difficult to drop everything that happened and just forgive Janice.  Yes, she had been forgiven by God for all the wrong she had ever done but how could she find the strength to return the favor and forgive someone else?  Janice called every single day looking for Angela to tell her she accepted her apology but Angela had not made it to that point yet.

One day Janice left a voice mail that stopped Angela in her tracks.  It wasn’t as pestering as the other messages had been but this one was laced with sincerity.  On this particular day, Janice asked Angela to pray for her because she needed it and didn’t know how to do it for herself.  Janice had found herself in a heated situation that was taking a toll on her.  She had spent so much time being devious that she neglected her own children and the state had came in and taken them away from her.  Buck was in jail on drug charges and her family didn’t have much interaction with her because of damages she’d caused in the past due to her jealous ways.  Shortly after that, Angela received the news that Janice had been admitted into the Arts Institution but not the arts of compelling expression as one would assume, yet, the Bradley Cotts Art Mental Institution.  The act of losing her children was too much for her and she suffered a nervous breakdown.

Later that week, Angela decided to drive to Janice’s  parents house to see how they were doing.  Sitting in the den with the two, she was struck by so many memories as she looked around at their many photos.  Janice parents informed Angela on what Janice said happened that night.  It was there that Angela learned why Buck ran away.  He claimed to have seen giants surrounding her with shields and instantly she knew God had placed angels around her to protect her that night.  Her heart was warmed as peace fell upon her, soothing her with confirmation that God is always present and will never forsake her.  That following Sunday, Angela stood at the altar on Janice behalf and asked God to heal Janice, as well as touch her own heart to completely forgive as she had been forgiven.  She laid her burdens at the altar and walked away free with the understanding that if God could spare their lives and show forth mercy, surely she could too.

Matthew 6:14-15  For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

~Earlene J.